Bandwagon Time

Now that my favorite NFL team has been mathematically eliminated (they were eliminated long before this, but it is now official) from playoff contention I need to jump on somebodies bandwagon for the rest of the season and the playoffs. While my favorite team (Chicago Bears) let me down I will continue to watch in hopes of three consecutive losses to finish the season in hopes of a management, coaching and player overhaul before next season begins, but I do need a winner to root for, because I still do love winning. Understand I really don't want the Bears to lose the rest of there games, but my favorite team needs changes and losses are the only way these things may happen. I'll always be a Bears fan to the core, but the professional sports become less interesting when you don't have a winner to cheer for. So I'll break down my choices of bandwagons to grab onto and why or why not I can't root for that particular team and finally coming down with the team I'll be joining in fandom for the rest of the season.

Lets start with the AFC choices.

• Indianapolis Colts

Why Yes

1. Peyton Manning will always keep you in the game.
2. Peyton Manning is my fantasy quarterback.

Why No

1. The Colts blue is an ugly blue.
2. The Colts beat the Bears in the Super Bowl a few years back.
3. Indoor teams annoy me.

Outcome

1. It looks like the Colts won't be getting my support for the rest of the season.

• San Diego Chargers

Why Yes

1. My second favorite city in America is San Diego. I lived there for a bit and it is absolutely beautiful.
2. They may have the best jersey's in the NFL. Even the powder blue ones.

Why No

1. Phillip Rivers face annoys me, especially because my wife finds him attractive.
2. The fact that they could possibly move out of San Diego bothers me.
3. Shawn Merriman is an ASSHAT.

Outcome

1. The nos have this one again. Sorry San Diego no love from McSpazz the rest of this season.

• Cincinnati Bengals

Why Yes

1. Unlike most I like Chad Ochocinco, he loves the game and has fun with it.
2. They have been underdogs for a very long time.
3. I like their helmets.

Why Not

1. They employ two players that were punks while playing for the Bears; Cedric Benson and Tank Johnson.
2. Larry Johnson is an ASSHAT.
3. Cincinnati is an ugly city.

Outcome

1. It's even so the Bengals are in the running, but lets continue on to the rest of the candidates.

• New England Patriots

Why Yes

1. Tom Brady is married to Giselle.
2. Wes Welker gives white receivers a good name.

Why No

1. Tom Brady is married to Giselle.
2. Bill Belichick is an ASSHAT.
3. Randy Moss is a big baby.
4. Sick of seeing them winning.
5. My rival on FanvsFan.com (Tito) is a Patriots fan.

Outcome

1. There you have it, no rooting for the Patriots.

• Denver Broncos

Why Yes

1. Champ Bailey and Brian Dawkins are real football players.
2. Knowshon Moreno played for my favorite college football team.
3. I'm a fan of the roads in Colorado. It's like a roller coaster for your car.

Why Not

1. Kyle Orton's neckbeard.
2. They sent us Jay Cutler.
3. The fact that they will have another decent 1st round selection from the Bears in the 2010 draft.
4. Josh McDaniels over exuberance after early wins really rubbed me the wrong way.

Outcome

1. Oh so close Broncos, but that Cutler trade cost you my fandom.

• Jacksonville Jaguars

Why Yes

1. MJD is the best bowling ball in the league.
2. Florida is warm and I like it warm.

Why Not

1. They probably will fall out of the playoffs before all is said and done.
2. Jacksonville really isn't deserving of an NFL franchise.
3. I really dislike the color teal.

Outcomes

1. Sorry Jags, in my mind I would like to root for you, but more than likely you won't be in the playoffs.

• Baltimore Ravens

Why Yes

1. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed.

Why Not

1. They ditched Cleveland for Baltimore.
2. I dislike the color purple.

Outcome

1. Not big fan of the Raven or Baltimore so no McSpazz love for this team.

• Miami Dolphins

Why Yes

1. Ricky Williams has been impressive since returning to football.
2. They are a hard working bunch.
3. They reside in Florida

Why Not

1. Bill Parcells
2. Ted Ginn Jr.
3. Ronnie Brown is on IR
4. Dan Marino
5. More teal.
6. They're on the outside looking in.
7. My mother-in-law is a Dolphins fan and I really dislike her.

Outcome

1. No way in hell will they be getting any cheers from me.

• New York Jets

Why Yes

1. I see them more from Jersey than New York.
2. I've always liked them a tad bit for some reason.
3. Thomas Jones
4. I like saying the name Jerricho Cotchery

Why Not

1. The name does say New York and I hate anything that says New York in front of it.
2. Rex Ryan
3. Another squad on the outside looking in at the moment.
4. Have a rookie quarterback.

Outcome

1. Another even outcome. As of right now it's between them and the Bengals.

• Tennessee Titans

Why Yes

1. Jeff Fisher's mustache
2. Chris Johnson
3. Vince Young
4. Started (0-6) and have gotten back into playoff contention.
5. Jeff Fisher was once a Chicago Bear

Why Not

1. They are on the outside of the playoffs as I type this.
2. They ditched Houston.
3. Bud Adams
4. Kerry Collins racist ass.

Outcome

1. The Titans have the inside track on my fandom, but could still lose out to a current playoff contender.

• New Orleans Saints

Why Yes

1. Marques Colston
2. Pierre Thomas is from Illinois.
3. Sean Payton is from Illinois.

Why Not

1. Another indoor team.
2. Drew Brees's face birth mark.
3. Reggie Bush is and will always be overrated.
4. Sean Payton looks smug.
5. Mike Ditka coached there and his name annoys the hell out of me since we still have meathead fans here in Chicago who wish he was the Bears head coach.

Outcome

1. Though we have some guys from Illinois they have way to many reasons why not to root for them.

• Minnesota Vikings

Why Yes

1. Sidney Rice
2. Adrian Peterson is on my fantasy team.
3. Jared Allen is my favorite football hillbilly.

Why Not

1. Brett Favre
2. Brad Childress's bald head.
3. The William's pair not serving their suspensions yet.
4. They reside in the NFC North.
5. They wear that ugly purple.

Outcome

1. Rooting for an NFC North opponent just isn't going to happen.

• Philadelphia Eagles

Why Yes

1. Donovan McNabb is from Chicago.
2. I'm a fan of Michael Vick the football player.
3. Philadelphia is a city much like Chicago.

Why Not

1. Andy Reid's family problems.
2. Andy Reid's pass happy ways.
3. DeSean Jackson's dancing.
4. Never a big fan of the Eagles uniforms.
5. The Buddy Ryan era.
6. Ron Jaworski, just because he is annoying me so much on Monday Night Football.

Outcome

1. The city of brotherly love won't be getting any from me.

• Arizona Cardinals

Why Yes

1. Larry Fitzgerald & Anquan Boldin
2. It's warm in Arizona.
3. Ken Whisenhunt looks like a guy you want to play for.

Why Not

1. Kurt Warner
2. Brenda Warner
3. The team originated in Chicago and ditched it.
4. The Cardinals is just a bad mascot for a football team.

Outcome

1. Close, but no cigar for the Cardinals in receiving my temporary fandom.

• Green Bay Packers

Why Yes

1. Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings and Donald Driver
2. Lambeau Field may be the best stadium in the NFL

Why Not

1. They beat the Bears twice this season.
2. Forrest Greg era.
3. Brett Favre
4. Packer green and yellow.
5. They reside in the NFC North.

Outcome

1. Another squad that will never ever receive my fan allegiance.

• Dallas Cowboys

Why Yes

1. Tony Romo went to college in Illinois.
2. Romo has pulled some real hotties in his time as Cowboys quarterback.

Why Not

1. A billion dollar stadium.
2. Jerry Jones
3. I almost dislike the Cowboys as I do the Giants.
4. The Cowboys team of the 90's.
5. Flozell Adams is a biotch.
6. December woes which won't have them making the playoffs anyways.
7. Jason Witten and Tony Romo's hidden love.

Outcome

1. Sorry boys, but the only thing in Texas is steers and queers and I don't see any bulls around here.

• New York Giants

Why Yes

1. They are my wife's favorite team.
2. Justin Tuck
3. Brandon Jacobs played at Southern Illinois.

Why Not

1. They reside in New York.
2. Tom Coughlin's red ass and red face.
3. Sheli Manning
4. If they win my wife will never shut up.
5. They say they're from New York, but play in Jersey.

Outcome

1. Not even if my wife moaned and begged (hint, hint) would I ever root for the G-Men.

Final Outcome

1. As of this moment I will root hard for the Titans to make the playoffs and go as far as they can. But, if they can't overcome their horrible start I will then take the Cincinnati Bengals under my fan wing. What this all means is that more than likely I won't have a rooting interest in the Super Bowl participants. Meaning, I'll be watching the game out the corner of my eyes and paying more attention to the food and libations I will be partaking in.

Go Titans! Maybe Bengals!

To my wife (if she reads it),

I could really use a Chris Johnson (Titans/dark blue) and possibly a Chad Ochocinco Begals/White) jersey for my new rooting interests.